Dorothy Heller

A writer, blogger, mother, medical interpreter, bookaholic, grandmother, shower singer, translator, tea-aholic and an aspiring songwriter. Still writing her novel and wants to write at least one good song.

Dorothy Heller

SEX, SCIENCE, AND THE MATURE SINGLE: THEY BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE

As mature single Boomers, we depend on science. We’re not asking for much—we just want to live at least 100 years—if not forever—in terrific health and vitality with a hot sex life while Fitbit monitors us 24/7. But can research tell us the most efficient and scientifically proven method to attract and keep love? Or …

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Random Mingling Disorder and the Mature Single

Are you uncomfortable in large groups and not at your best when mingling with the herd? Do you feel invisible, or don’t know what to say when approaching complete strangers? You don’t feel up to making a splash in a school full of fish? Does the prospect of random mingling make you want to stay …

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Singles Saturday Night on the Sofa- Codependent on PBS

It’s Saturday night, and like thousands of self-respecting singles, I should be getting ready to go out. To a Meetup, to a singles event, to a bar, to a bowling alley—anywhere—as long as it’s Out. Because Out is where you can see and be seen. Perhaps this could be the Saturday night when you look …

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IF THE SHOE FITS, WEAR IT—SHOES, SEX AND THE SINGLE LIFE

It’s the delicate balance between pleasure and pain, torture and beauty, function and art. No, not sadomasochistic sex or Fifty Shades of Grey . A much more important topic: SHOES! I spent a sick day at home this week, moping and sneezing. I could have caught up on library books, visited online dating sites to …

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Mature Singles and the Technology of Love

Has life as a mature single become tiresome and awkward—“awk” as my twenty-something daughter would say? Does online dating feel like an investment of time and energy that is out of proportion with the ROI (Return on Investment)? Does swiping right leave you cold? Are you beginning to lose hope that you will find your …

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So Many Shades of Grey—Boomers, The Darker Side of Love, and Domestic Violence

This is a story about three dramas of domestic violence–in London, England, a beautiful villa in France, and Compton, California. One is a scandal, one is a romantic comedy, and one is a tragedy. Boomers entered adolescence or young adulthood just in time for the sexual revolution , however much we individually may or may …

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The Single Boomer and the Steel-Clad Significant Other

Are you old enough to remember that old Harley Davidson ad about “four tons of hot steel between your legs?” We may all have fantasies of a steel-clad, sleek chassis—owning one or being in a relationship with someone who does. For a mature single, our most essential significant other may have four wheels and be …

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The Business of Dating: Negotiating the Coffee Date

It’s where it all begins—the coffee date–a casual, risk-free way to meet your online prospects with minimum investment of time and energy. It’s supposed to be a simple social interaction; at best, the gateway to romance. Of course, it’s a job interview and a business transaction. And the negotiations begin immediately. The first negotiation is …

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Social Networking Solo–Be There Then

Naked bodies soaking in hot tubs under the California sun. Consciousness-raising (with and without hallucinogens), self-awareness at any price-—Esalen in the 1960s. Fritz Perls, founder of Gestalt Therapy, coined this mantra as the slogan of the self-development and actualization movement of the Sixties: “Be here now.” Or was it Ram Dass, born Richard Alpert, and …

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Cancelled in the Cloud-Singing the First World Problem Blues

We all think we have problems. But are they problem problems–or are they First World Problems? I’m singing the First World Blues. A company that shall remain nameless (but begins with Blue) cancelled my web site during the pandemic, heartlessly erasing over five years of work. They wiped out more than ninety illustrated posts, each …

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SINGLE BOOMER SURGERY SABBATICAL— The Joy of Nothing

The goal of every self-respecting Boomer is to live forever, physically fit and sexually active, taking up space on the planet, no matter how many Millennials are currently occupying it—even if they’re our own offspring.  If we flunk immortality, we at least want to expire during orgasm while doing Kundalini Yoga as our Fitbits record the electrical activity. Our bodies don’t …

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THE SINGLE BOOMER MEETS THE McSURGEONS

  This should be the beginning of a meet cute, a rom-com, the story of a single female boomer, three surgeons, and my Temporary Disability Dating Profile. Not. And not just because the distinguished medical gents involved are all married. Based on a recent scientific sample of three male doctors and three female doctors, I’m …

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